But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. Living the dream! If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. 86. 48. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. So much better than most people. You speak as if youre not single yourself! Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Do you have a minute? The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. My bad, its just your mouth. She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. 3. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. Being single is much better than being married. He will be missed. Hanging on. Because youre highly qualified. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. 4. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. 6. 32. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. 2. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. While most of us answer with an uninspired I am fine, thank you, the universal greeting question how are you? 76. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. For more information, please see our 4. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? Funny as phuck. 63. Then the worms eat you. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. . But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. But half the time, it is a nightmare. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. 2. Read more about Martin here. Then you die. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. You may join me, though. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. So, you changed your mind? Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). But, they will grow up into a dog. Usually, people live and learn. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. Feel my shirt. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. Hi! Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. I died last week, since then. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. I love you. I havent met the right one yet. Financially? Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. Whats with all these questions? Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! Dont wake me up yet. If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. I just woke up like that one day. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. I'm alive, whoa! "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! Could have been worse, right. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! No, waitIm actually plural. I never even listen when you tell me them. It's all about confidence. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. 40. The police? For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. 2. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. WHY!? You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! 43. They might even steal it to use in the future. original sound - Tyren Sams. I'm overqualified! In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. 70. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. A real low-life. I hope you like some of them. Have you met food? For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. 1. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." There are nosy people everywhere! You look tired. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? 17. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. . That's boyfriend material. 20. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. "Any day above ground is a good day. Moving in with Roommates? I like being single. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. 3. Keep calm and be awesome. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. I think I am doing alright. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. 84. Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. I agree, thanks for sharing. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. All rights reserved. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. Youre totally on the same page. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. Oh, stop it, will you? 100. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. Im jealous of people who dont know you. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). Everyone wants me, but no one dares! Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. 80. Maybe their roommate was sick. Going strong. What? So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. I suggest you do a little soul searching. Life is up to something. Then they throw dirt in your face. 9. 3. You don't need to say it. Are those space pants? 42. Youre worse. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! How impressive! Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". Were already married, remember?! Dont let your mind wander. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. I am not sure what you mean. [*clap your hands*]. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace: What Does It Mean? "I'm alright, mate". [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." But Ive also had better. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? Socioeconomically? If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Are you going to marry me? I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. Im sorry. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. 69. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are I was actually talking to my friend". I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? I'm used to it, anyway. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. I cant really complain, but I will still try. Required fields are marked *. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. 2. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. At minding my own business? 38. Im always there when I need me. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. Oof, gotta hide! You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Because Jamaican me crazy! "Yeah, you're three years late. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. It can be good to just say it how it is. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". 78. Does the new one work any better? I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Call the police." 13 Quora User If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. To contact our editors please use our contact form. How did you get here? You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. 60. Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Holy s**t, you can see me?! I will leave that up to your imagination. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. 26. In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? Plotting how Im going to take over the world. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. Getting better with every passing second. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! Get your own life first before you try sharing it. "Alright. Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? I always root for the little guy. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. still alive 810 GIFs. 22. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". 52. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. 75. 5. Share the best GIFs now >>> When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. 7. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. Don Draper? If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. 68. 57. You might just find one. 16. Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. What do you mean Im still single. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. I hope you are at your best too. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Because they are already taking their time. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. 10. The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality .